First Date Safety Plan and Tips, With a Check-In Timer

How does the safety plan work?

1. Fill in the basics. Their name and profile, where you met, the place, the time, and how you get there and home.
2. Pick a check-in time and a code word. The check-in is usually 30 minutes after you expect to be done.
3. Send the message. One tap opens your share sheet (or copies it). Ask your friend first if they are free to be your check-in person that night.
4. Start the timer. When it is time, tap "I am home safe", "add 30 min", or send your code word.

First date safety tips that matter

• Meet somewhere busy and public. A cafe or a bar with staff around. Not your place, not theirs.
• Keep your own ride. Drive, take transit or book your own rideshare, so you can leave whenever you want.
• Tell one person, clearly. Safety guides agree on a named friend, an exact check-in time, and a plan for what silence means.
• Share your live location. Share your location with your check-in friend for the evening (Find My on iPhone, location sharing in Google Maps), and keep your phone charged.
• Keep the drinks light. Watch your drink and do not leave it alone.
• Know where help is. Notice the staff. If you feel unsafe, go to the bar or counter and tell them.
• Be careful with brand-new profiles. Few photos, a new account or an excuse every time you ask for a quick video call are reasons to slow down, whatever app or platform you met on.
• Never send money to someone you have not met. The FTC's advice on romance scams is simple: no money or gifts to a match you have not met in person, and do a reverse image search of their profile photo if anything feels off.
• Trust the warning signs. Pushing to go back to someone's place, or a barrage of messages right after the date, are signals worth taking seriously, as a counsellor told ABC News.

Before you meet

• A short video call first is a normal ask and shows you the person matches their photos. Our games to play on FaceTime make it less awkward.
• Do not share your home address or workplace before you know them.
• Prep the rest of the date with our first date checklist: questions to bring, an exit line and one minute of breathing for nerves.

Extra care if you are LGBTQ+ or not out to everyone

• Ask for a short video call before you meet, and slow down if the profile is brand new or the excuses keep coming.
• Pick a busy venue where you feel comfortable being yourself.
• Choose a check-in friend who knows the full story, so you never have to explain in a hurry.

How to make your date feel safe too

• Suggest a public place and let them get there on their own.
• Say "of course" if they want to video call first or share the plan with a friend.
• Take a no the first time, for another drink, another place or a ride.
• Text later to check they got home. It is kind, not clingy.

The tool has a ready text for this: open "Help your date feel safe too" under the plan, and it suggests the place, offers a quick video call first and asks them to text when they are home.

What are the limits?

• This page cannot call or text anyone on its own and does not track your location. Your friend is the safety net.
• The timer only runs while this page is open. If you close it, your plan is still saved on this phone.
• It is preparation, not a promise that nothing can go wrong. If you are in danger, call your local emergency number (911 in the US).

Feeling good about it? Break the ice with a first date game, or later make it official with a talking stage application.