Red Flag or Green Flag Game

This is a free red flag or green flag game for dating. Each card is a real-life scenario, like "they only text after 11 pm" or "they ask before posting a photo of you". You call it red, beige or green, and see our take with a one-line reason. After 10 cards, tap Send to them: the person you are talking to makes their own calls on the same cards, without seeing yours, and you both get a match score plus the cards worth talking about.

How do you play red flag or green flag?

1. Pick a pack. Red flags in a guy, Red flags in a girl, Talking stage, First dates, Couples, Beige flags, Love bombing, or Am I the red flag? (that one is about you, and stays private).
2. Make your call. Tap red, beige or green, or swipe the card: left for red, up for beige, right for green. On a keyboard, press 1, 2 or 3.
3. Read our take. Every card has a short reason. You will not always agree with it, and that is the point.
4. Send it to them. After 10 cards, add your name and send the link. They play the same 10, then both of you see where you agree and where you differ.
5. Together on one phone? Switch to Pass the phone for 2 to 6 players. Each person makes a call while the others look away, then all calls appear at once, and the end shows the most divided cards.

Everything runs in your browser. Your answers are not sent anywhere: the link itself carries the picks.

What is a red, beige and green flag?

• Red flag: a warning sign. Behavior that tends to get worse, not better, like checking your phone or punishing you for saying no.
• Beige flag: a harmless quirk, like naming their car or clapping when the plane lands. Not good, not bad, just very them. In the game, beige is also the call for things that depend on context.
• Green flag: a good sign. Kindness, consistency, respect for your no, and curiosity about your life.

One rule matters more than any card: a single moment is not a pattern. Look at what someone does again and again.

Red flags in a guy: a list

These come up again and again in dating. They apply just as much to anyone you date. The Red flags in a guy pack in the game has 45 more, from breadcrumbing to the one-towel apartment.

• He is kind to you and rude to waiters, drivers or staff.
• He wants to read your messages or know your passwords.
• He gets angry or sulks when you see your friends.
• Every ex was "crazy" and none of it was his fault.
• He pushes after you say no, even about small things like another drink.
• He apologizes fast, then does the same thing next week.
• He only texts late at night and never makes daytime plans.
• He calls you "too sensitive" when you bring something up.
• He comments on what you wear or who you follow.
• He is hot and cold: very intense for a week, then gone for days.
• He makes big decisions for both of you and tells you after.
• He keeps bringing up old fights to win new ones.

Red flags in a girl: a list

Same idea, same standard. None of these are about gender. The Red flags in a girl pack in the game has 19 to play through.

• She checks your phone or tracks your location without asking.
• She uses silence as punishment and expects you to guess why.
• She flirts with other people to make you jealous.
• She wants you to drop friends she does not like.
• She keeps score of who paid, who texted, who said sorry.
• She never apologizes first.
• She talks about her ex on every date.
• She makes fun of you in front of friends and calls it a joke.
• She wants to be exclusive, meet your family or move in very fast.
• She cancels plans last minute, often.

Curious which of these you do yourself? Play the Am I the red flag? pack in the game above. Nobody sees your answers.

Green flags in a guy or a girl

• They ask follow-up questions and remember the answers.
• They respect your no without a mood change.
• They are kind to people who can do nothing for them.
• They tell you when something hurt them, calmly.
• They apologize and then actually change the thing.
• They make real plans, not "we should hang out sometime".
• They have their own friends and life, and are happy you have yours.
• They ask before posting a photo of you.
• They celebrate your wins, even the small ones.
• They move at your pace when you ask them to slow down.

First date red flags

• Late without a text.
• Rude to the server.
• Talks about their ex for most of the date.
• Asks how much you earn.
• Pushes past a no.
• On their phone the whole time, with no reason given.

Need things to talk about instead? Try our 21 questions game or the would you rather pick and reveal.

Talking stage red flags

• Weeks of texting and they still avoid a call or a date.
• They ask for your location or photos early on.
• They get jealous before you are even together.
• Plans stay vague: "sometime", "soon", "we will see".
• They only show up at night.

Signs of love bombing

Love bombing is a flood of attention and affection early on that is used to gain control. The US helpline loveisrespect lists five common signs: over-the-top compliments, being called their soulmate, very intense contact, costly gifts, and wanting all of your time. Psychology Today adds pushing for commitment quickly and ignoring boundaries.

The test is simple: ask to slow down. Someone who is just keen will slow down. Someone who is love bombing will get cold, guilt-trip you or turn it up. The Love bombing pack in the game has 18 cards on this.

What are the limits?

• Our takes are opinions to argue with, not rules. Context changes everything.
• This is not a test of whether a relationship is healthy, and it cannot diagnose anyone.
• If you feel scared, controlled or unsafe, talk to someone you trust. In the US you can text LOVEIS to 22522 or call 1-866-331-9474 to reach loveisrespect.
• Anyone with your link can see your calls. Only send it to the person you mean to.

More games for two

Getting to know someone? Play this or that with them, read our questions to ask your boyfriend, or see games to play on FaceTime before your first call.