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This or That Questions for Couples and First Dates
Quick picks, then send the same 10 to them and see your match score.
Quick answer
Pick Just met or Couples and tap one side of each card. Picks move on by themselves, so 10 cards take about a minute. Then tap Send to them: they make their picks on the same 10 without seeing yours, and you both see a match score and the picks where you differ. Playing together? Pass the phone works for 2 to 6 players.
These this or that questions for couples and first dates come as a free game. Each card has two short options. Tap one and the next card comes up by itself, so 10 picks take about a minute. Then tap Send to them: they pick on the same 10 cards without seeing yours, and you both get a match score plus the picks where you differ. There are more than 220 questions, no sign-up and no ads.
How do you play this or that?
- Choose who you are playing with. Just met has First date, Talking stage and Fun packs. Couples has Romance, Flirty, Deep, Relationship, Future, Travel, Everyday and Long distance.
- Pick fast. Tap a side, or press A or B. Do not overthink it. The first answer is the honest one.
- Send it. After 10, add your name and send the link. Your picks travel in the link, not to a server.
- Compare. They pick without peeking, then both of you see the score and the picks to talk about.
- Same room? Switch to Pass the phone for 2 to 6 players.
This or that first date questions
Short picks work well on a first date because nobody has to come up with a long answer. A few from the First date pack:
- Coffee date or drinks date?
- Window seat or booth?
- Funny stories or deep stories?
- Live music or quiet cafe?
For longer dilemmas, play the would you rather game. To find out how you both see dating habits, try red flag or green flag.
Why play it with a match score?
This or that is old and simple. The score adds a reason to send it, and the picks where you differ are the best part: "beach or mountains" turns into a story about a trip. Short, light moments of attention like this are what relationship researchers at the Gottman Institute call turning toward each other.
Want the full list?
Our guide to this or that questions for couples has every group on one page, including spicy ones, to read out loud. Playing on a call? See games to play over the phone.
What are the limits?
- Your picks live in your browser and in the link. Only send the link to the person you mean.
- The match score counts identical picks. It is a game, not a compatibility test.
- Cards do not repeat until you have seen the whole pack on this phone.
FAQ
How do you play this or that as a couple?
One of you reads two options and both of you pick one, fast, without thinking too long. Then talk about the ones where you picked differently. In the game above you each pick on your own phone, so neither of you can copy the other.
What are good this or that questions for a first date?
Light ones with no wrong answer: coffee date or drinks date, window seat or booth, funny stories or deep stories, live music or a quiet cafe. The First date pack has 20 of them, and the Talking stage pack has 21 for texting.
Can I play this or that over text?
Yes. Play your 10, tap Send to them and paste the link in your chat. They pick on the same cards and both of you see the match score. You can also tap the copy icon on a single card to send it as a text.
What is the difference between this or that and would you rather?
This or that uses short options, often two words, and is played fast. Would you rather gives longer, more creative dilemmas that take a minute to argue about. Both work as a pick and reveal game. Try our would you rather game for the longer kind.
Are there spicy this or that questions?
Not in this game, which is built to be safe for a first date. Our full list of this or that questions for couples on the guide page has a spicy group.
How we made this page: page text and tool drafted with help from AI tools, then reviewed and edited by Niclas Illg against the sources below on November 3, 2026. The tool itself runs in your browser, with no AI generator behind it. Cupie is our own app.