205 This or That Questions for Couples, From Coffee or Tea to Spicy

This or that questions for couples are quick two-option choices, like "beach or mountains?", that you answer fast and then compare. Below are 205 of them in 8 groups: everyday life and food, dates and romance, travel, fun and random, relationship, future, spicy, and long distance. Play a speed round first, then go back and ask "why?" about the answers that surprised you.

Use the random picker at the top of the page to draw a question, or filter by category to stay in one mood.

How do you play this or that as a couple?

This or that is the fastest question game there is. One person reads two options, the other picks one. No "both", no "it depends". That's it. Here are four ways to play it so it lasts a whole evening:

• Speed round. Read 20 questions in a row. Answer in under two seconds each. Gut answers only.
• Guess game. Before your partner answers, say what you think they'll pick. One point for every right guess. Play to 10. Loser makes coffee tomorrow.
• Same time. Count "one, two, three" and both say your answer out loud at once. Count how many times you match out of 20.
• Why round. After a speed round, each of you picks the one answer you want to hear more about. These little stories are often the best part.

Two house rules help: each of you gets one pass per round, and nobody is allowed to argue about an answer during the game. You can argue about pineapple on pizza later.

Is this or that the same as would you rather?

Close, but not the same. This or that is about what you like right now ("tea or coffee?"). Would you rather questions are about made-up situations with a tradeoff ("would you rather never travel again or never eat out again?"). This or that is faster and lighter. Would you rather leads to longer talks. Many couples start with this or that to warm up and then switch.

Inside the Cupie app

8 Match cards from Cupie

Word for word from Match in Cupie, where you both answer out loud at the same time. There are 127 Match cards.

• About usWould we survive being stranded on a desert island?
• About usWhat event would we have the best chance of medaling in at the Olympics?
• About usWe're down to our last 10 bucks. What do we buy?
• About usWhat color would our dream house be?
• About usIf we were on a quiz show, who would be our phone-a-friend?
• About usWhat's our favorite made-up word?
• About usWhat's our favorite fast food place?
• About usWho is our favorite third wheel?

Everyday and food this or that questions for couples

Small choices about daily life and what you eat. They sound boring, but they tell you a lot about living together (or what it will be like), and the food ones start the most real arguments.

1. Morning person or night owl?
2. Shower in the morning or at night?
3. Window open or fan on at night?
4. Big blanket we share or one blanket each?
5. Left side of the bed or right side?
6. Dishes right after dinner or the next morning?
7. Phone on silent or ringer on loud?
8. Text back right away or when you feel like it?
9. Socks in bed or no socks in bed?
10. Lights on low or bright?
11. Early to the airport or just in time?
12. Grocery list or wander the aisles?
13. Nap in the afternoon or push through?
14. Thermostat warm or cold?
15. Cozy night in or out with friends?
16. Pizza or tacos?
17. Sweet breakfast or savory breakfast?
18. Cook at home or order in?
19. Spicy food or mild?
20. Coffee or tea?
21. Pineapple on pizza: yes or no?
22. Sushi or burgers?
23. Share dessert or each get your own?
24. Try something new on the menu or order your usual?
25. Brunch or late-night snack run?
26. Chocolate or chips?
27. Cook together or one cooks, one cleans?
28. Fancy restaurant or food truck?
29. Pancakes or waffles?
30. Eat dessert first or save it for last?

Date night and romance this or that questions

Use these to plan dates your partner actually wants. If you both pick the same thing, put it on the calendar. More ideas in our date night games.

1. Candlelit dinner or picnic in the park?
2. Planned date or surprise date?
3. Love letter or love text?
4. Flowers or snacks?
5. Forehead kiss or cheek kiss?
6. Hold hands or link arms?
7. Movie night at home or at the theater?
8. Slow dance or silly dance?
9. Cuddle on the couch or cuddle in bed?
10. Big birthday party or quiet birthday for two?
11. Expensive gift or handmade gift?
12. Hear "I love you" or "I'm proud of you"?
13. Sunrise date or sunset date?
14. Dress up or dress down?
15. Romantic comedy or scary movie for date night?
16. Public display of affection or keep it private?
17. Pet names or real names?
18. Anniversary trip or anniversary dinner?
19. Couple's massage or couple's cooking class?
20. Bowling or mini golf?
21. Karaoke or a comedy show?
22. Board game night or video game night?
23. Matching outfits or absolutely not?
24. Write each other notes or make each other playlists?
25. Stay up talking or fall asleep early together?

Travel this or that questions for couples

Find out if you're road trip people or resort people before you book something.

1. Beach or mountains?
2. Road trip or flight?
3. Hotel or cabin?
4. City break or nature trip?
5. Plan every day or plan nothing?
6. Window seat or aisle seat?
7. Pack light or pack everything?
8. Camping or glamping?
9. Hot place or snowy place?
10. Same spot every year or somewhere new every time?
11. Museums or shopping?
12. Pool or ocean?
13. Backpack or suitcase?
14. Tourist spots or hidden local places?
15. Long trip once a year or short trips all year?
16. Sleep in on vacation or wake up early to explore?
17. Train or car?
18. Cruise or road trip?
19. Europe or Asia?
20. Theme park or national park?
21. Take a hundred photos or just enjoy it?
22. Travel with friends or travel just the two of us?
23. Street food or sit-down restaurants?
24. Hike or spa day?
25. Learn some of the language or point and smile?

Fun and random this or that questions

Pure silliness. Good for a speed round, a car ride or when one of you needs a laugh.

1. Dogs or cats?
2. Superpower: fly or be invisible?
3. Zombies or aliens?
4. Time travel to the past or the future?
5. Books or movies?
6. Netflix or YouTube?
7. Rewatch a favorite show or start something new?
8. Marvel or DC?
9. Pirate or ninja?
10. Talk to animals or speak every language?
11. Be famous or be rich?
12. Win a board game or win an argument?
13. Instagram or TikTok?
14. Rollercoaster or ferris wheel?
15. Christmas or Halloween?
16. Summer or winter?
17. Thunderstorm or sunny day?
18. Sing in the car or drive in silence?
19. Live in a castle or a treehouse?
20. Have a pet dragon or a pet unicorn?
21. Haunted house or escape room?
22. Be a famous singer or a famous actor?
23. Unlimited pizza or unlimited tacos for life?
24. Ride a horse or ride a camel?
25. Laugh track that follows you around or your own theme song?

This or that questions about your relationship

These go a bit deeper. They're about how you love, fight and make up. Take your time with the "why". Want to go deeper still? Try our deep questions to ask your partner.

1. Talk about a problem right away or take space first?
2. Get a hug or get advice when you're upset?
3. Words of love or acts of love?
4. Gifts or quality time?
5. Say sorry first or wait for them to say it?
6. Shared passwords or private phones?
7. Share one bank account or keep money separate?
8. Tell each other everything or keep a few things private?
9. Spend every weekend together or keep some solo time?
10. Big group of couple friends or mostly just us?
11. Talk every day or talk when there's something to say?
12. Honest even if it hurts or gentle even if it hides a bit?
13. Be the planner or be the one who goes along?
14. Laugh it off or talk it through?
15. Be cheered on in public or told in private?
16. Remember every date or remember every feeling?
17. Friends first or love at first sight?
18. Surprise me or ask me first?
19. Same hobbies or different hobbies?
20. Fight loud and make up fast or stay calm and take longer?
21. Know what your partner is thinking or know what they're feeling?
22. Be the one who texts first or the one who calls first?
23. Celebrate every month or only the yearly anniversary?
24. Meet the family early or wait a while?
25. Big romantic gestures or small daily ones?

This or that questions about the future

An easy way to talk about big topics without it turning into a serious talk. If you're curious how well you match, try our couples quiz after this.

1. City or countryside?
2. House or apartment?
3. Big wedding or small wedding?
4. Elope or plan it all?
5. Kids or no kids?
6. One pet or lots of pets?
7. Live near your family or near mine?
8. Stay in one place or move every few years?
9. Save for a house or spend on trips now?
10. Retire early or work because you love it?
11. Build a house or buy one?
12. Garden or balcony?
13. Host the holidays or travel for them?
14. Start a business or have a stable job?
15. Live abroad for a year or never move country?
16. Old house with charm or new house with no surprises?
17. Quiet street or busy neighborhood?
18. Pool in the backyard or hot tub?
19. Cook at home every night or eat out often?
20. Plan the next five years or take it one year at a time?
21. Name our pet after food or after a famous person?
22. Grow old by the ocean or in the mountains?
23. One big trip a year or lots of weekend getaways?
24. Our own traditions or keep our families' traditions?
25. Be the fun aunts and uncles or the parents?

Spicy this or that questions for couples

Flirty and a little bold, never graphic. Use the one-pass rule and only go here if you both want to. For more spice, see truth or dare for couples and never have I ever for couples.

1. Kiss on the neck or kiss on the lips?
2. Slow and sweet or fast and fun?
3. Lights on or lights off?
4. Morning or night?
5. Lingerie or nothing at all?
6. You make the first move or I do?
7. Shower together or bath together?
8. Flirty texts during the day or flirty whispers at night?
9. Give a massage or get a massage?
10. Candles or music?
11. Tease or get straight to it?
12. Bedroom or somewhere new?
13. Blindfold or eye contact?
14. Kissing in public or only in private?
15. Cuddle after or snack after?
16. Be in charge or let your partner lead?
17. Sleep in pajamas or sleep in nothing?
18. Your shirt or my shirt to bed?
19. Flirt like strangers or flirt like we've been together forever?
20. Love bites or no marks?
21. Whisper what you want or show what you want?
22. Hands in hair or hands on waist?
23. Quiet or loud?
24. Spontaneous or planned?
25. Stay in bed all morning or start the day early together?

This or that questions for long distance couples

Made for your nightly call. These help you plan visits and figure out what makes the distance easier for both of you. Our long distance relationship tips and games to play on FaceTime have more.

1. Video call or phone call?
2. Long calls once a week or short calls every day?
3. Good morning text or good night call?
4. Fall asleep on call or hang up and sleep?
5. Watch a movie together on a call or play a game together?
6. Surprise visit or planned visit?
7. I visit you or you visit me?
8. Long visits less often or short visits more often?
9. Care package or handwritten letter?
10. Voice note or long text?
11. Countdown to the next visit or no countdown?
12. Meet halfway or always at home?
13. Stay in on the first night of a visit or go out?
14. Send a hoodie or send a photo?
15. Talk about our day or talk about the future?
16. Same show at the same time or catch up on it later?
17. Order each other food delivery or cook the same meal on a call?
18. Talk through a fight on the phone or wait until we're together?
19. Airport hug or airport kiss?
20. Sad goodbye or quick goodbye?
21. Move to your city or move to mine?
22. Close the distance in a year or wait until it feels right?
23. Widget with my photo or widget with our distance?
24. Send a song or send a selfie?
25. Plan our next date tonight or keep it a surprise?

What are the best this or that questions for new couples?

If you just started dating, stick to the everyday, travel and fun lists for the first few rounds. They're easy and safe, and they still tell you a lot. Save relationship, future and spicy questions for when you know each other better. A good starter mix: coffee or tea, beach or mountains, dogs or cats, planned date or surprise date, and call or text. Five questions, five little stories.

Can you play this or that on a video call?

Yes. It's one of the best games for a call because it needs no props and works even with a bad connection. One of you reads from this page, the other answers. Then swap.

If you want the game to do the reading, Cupie is a free video-call app for couples with 239 quizzes, including Would You Rather and Who's More Likely To, plus 14 games like Pool, Chess, Minigolf, Four in a Row and Truth or Dare. Everything is in sync on both phones during the call. It also has home-screen widgets that show your partner, the distance between you and their local time. It's on iPhone and Android, and as of October 2026 it has 4.8 stars on both the App Store and Google Play. Both of you need the app, and since it's made for video calls, there's no text chat yet.

"The app is great and actually COMPLETELY free." - App Store review