Is It a Romance Scam? A Private Check for Online Relationship Scams

How does the checklist work?

1. Pick who it is for. Yourself, or someone you worry about, like a parent or a friend. The wording changes to fit.
2. Tap Yes, Not sure or No for each sign. Skip anything you do not know. The bar at the top updates as you go.
3. Read the result. Signs are weighted: a money request or a stolen photo counts far more than moving fast. Any of the strongest signs turns the read to red on its own.
4. Follow the steps. The plan changes with your answers: how to verify, what to do if you already paid, and where to report.

Why do romance scams work so well?

Because they are run like a job. Scammers use scripts, real looking photos and months of daily messages to build trust before any money comes up. The FTC says scammers often tailor their act to what people share on their profiles, then invent an emergency or casually mention an investment tip. In its April 2026 data spotlight, the FTC reported that nearly 60% of people who lost money to a romance scam in 2025 said it started on social media.

That is why the checklist looks at patterns, not single moments. Real people fall in love fast sometimes. Real people work abroad. What real partners do not do is avoid every live video call and then ask for money.

The 20 signs in the checklist

Money

• They asked you for money, gift cards, game currency, crypto or a wire transfer. Often for a ticket, a medical bill, customs, a visa or a fee to get out of trouble.
• They offered to help you invest, often in crypto or on an app they picked. The app shows fake profits. The money cannot be taken out.
• They walk you step by step through a trading app or website, show you profits, or say you must pay a fee or tax to withdraw. Often an app from a link, not from the app store. This is how "pig butchering" scams work: the profits on screen are not real.
• They asked you to receive money or packages and send them on. This can make the person helping part of a crime without knowing it.
• They sent you money or a gift first. A small gift builds trust before a big ask.
• A sudden emergency came up: hospital, arrest, frozen account, stuck abroad.

Video and meeting

• They have never been on a live video call with you, or the video looked odd, was dark or frozen, or ended fast. Broken camera, bad signal, work rules: the excuse changes, the result does not.
• They asked you to pay for their ticket, visa or travel so they can come and meet you. The trip never happens, or a new fee appears at the airport.
• Plans to meet in person keep falling through at the last minute.
• They live or work far away: overseas job, doctor or surgeon abroad, oil rig, the military, a ship, aid work. Common cover stories. Also true of many real long distance partners, so it only counts together with other signs.

Speed and pressure

• They said "I love you" or talked about marriage within days or a few weeks. Real people fall fast too. It matters when it comes with other signs.
• Everything is urgent. It has to happen today. Urgency leaves no time to check or ask anyone.
• They get upset, guilt-trip or go cold when you hesitate or ask questions.
• They asked you to keep the relationship or the money secret. Secrecy keeps friends and family from spotting the pattern.

Profile and story

• They moved the chat off the app, game or server where you met, fast, to WhatsApp, Telegram or text. Away from the platform that could flag or ban them.
• Their photos show up under another name in a reverse image search. Search their photos with Google Lens or TinEye. It takes a minute.
• Their story has gaps: details change, or their age, job or way of writing does not fit.
• Their social profiles are new, almost empty or have few real friends.

Photos and accounts

• They asked for intimate photos, or threatened to share photos unless you pay.
• They asked for passwords, codes sent to your phone, your game or social accounts, or ID documents. A code sent to a phone can unlock a bank or email account.

How to check if someone is real

• Ask for a live video call. Not a recorded clip, not a photo. Ten seconds of a face and a wave is enough. Our video call ideas make it easy to suggest.
• Search their photos. Upload a profile photo to Google Lens or TinEye. If it shows up under another name, you have your answer.
• Search their story. Type their job plus the word "scammer", for example "oil rig engineer scammer".
• Tell someone. A friend who sees the whole story often spots what is hard to see from inside.

Is my online relationship real, or just new?

Most people who meet online are who they say they are. Green flags are simple: they video call, they make plans to meet and keep them, friends on both sides know about each other, and money never comes up. If you are in an online relationship and want an honest look at how it is going, take our long distance quiz for two and pick Met online. For ground rules most couples agree on, read our long distance relationship rules. Need something to do on that first video call? Try our games to play on FaceTime.

What are the limits?

• The checklist cannot prove anything. It shows how closely a situation matches known scam patterns.
• A low score does not mean someone is safe. Never send money, gift cards, crypto or codes to someone you have not met in person.
• If you are in danger or being threatened, contact local police.